just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I love you.
Bad choice
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
