we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
