Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
