I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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