So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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