No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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