Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
