Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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