Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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