break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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