sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
