walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
