My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish you could order shots online.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
