At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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