...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
