dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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