i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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