Define "chronic" masturbator.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize