i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
