I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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