I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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