You're so nebulous sometimes
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I need a beard to bite.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize