Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
