White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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