Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
