Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
now i know why i became what i already was.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
