He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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