I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think i peed on brittanys purse
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
What drink are we having for lunch?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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