Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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