Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
