dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
