first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
