I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You may now shotgun with the bride
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
