I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
