So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
