At least make sure they are 18
Why
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
