walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
