At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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