My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
