Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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