apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
