my mouth tastes like poor choices
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
