you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
