my mouth tastes like poor choices
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
