Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
