i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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