my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Randomize
