erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize