I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
