it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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