I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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