You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
