Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
