I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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