He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
