You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
