We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
