Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
